Jaws

by Billy Bob 'Launcher' Lary
 
 

Well there we were, at the marina, we had finally arrived... No thanks to a certain TMC.

We had stopped in town, while passing through, and bought a lot more beer. We loaded up the sailboat and took off out into the sound. We headed to another marina to pick up the girls... Oh, oh, bad news... Only one showed up, guess who she was waiting for? Yep, Billy Bob's luck was still holding out... She was JW's old girl friend... Looking for him.

We motored back out into the sound and dropped anchor. We decided to go skinny dipping... We'd jump off the bow and swim to the stern and climb back up using a small jacob's ladder. I was a little hesitant about this plan, since I had just gone to the movies and had seen the movie 'JAWS'. Now, I had never been afraid to swim anywhere, until I saw that movie, but I went anyway.

We had been swimming for awhile and decided to take a break. We sat forward of the cabin, drinking beer and tossing the empties out into the water and watched them sink (I know, I know, I feel bad about it now) and if they didn't sink we had to jump in, swim out to it and sink it. Well, ol' Billy Bob chugged one, crunched it and heaved that sonvabitch out into the briny deep, and naturally the little bastard floated. So as per the rules, I dove in, swam out to the can and held it under water ‘til it sank.

Without me knowing it, JW had slipped into the water and was hanging onto the anchor line. As I neared the bow, he dove under water and swam underneath me and brushed my leg... BOY, HOWDY, DID I MOVE!! I got my narrow ass out of the water, like right now!!!! JW almost drowned, he was laughing so hard... His girlfriend was also laughing so hard that she damn near fell out of the boat. Well, he's laughing too hard to get onboard by himself and she was in no condition to help him either, and I was damn sure not helping him... Finally he climbs onboard and tells me that he has never seen anybody move that fast. I didn't know how I got on the boat until he told me. JW said,

"It was the weirdest thing... It's like you climbed an invisible ladder on the bow... One minute you were in the water and the next you were standing on the bow. It actually looked like a giant leap!"

To say I was scared would be an understatement...

I still like skinny dipping, don't like swimming in the ocean, don't care for warm beer, but I do enjoy eating shark steaks and I still love listening to 'FRANKENSTEIN'.

Billy Bob Lary

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