On The Beach

by Billy Bob 'Launcher' Lary

I've got a little laffer fer ya'.

It was my first boat (Andrew Jackson SSBN-619 (Blue) 7/74-4/78). I was a non-qual dink TM3 and I'd only been onboard for about 2-3 months. My sea-daddy (TMC(SS) Langer) and the COB (ETCM(SS) Ken "Kenny TWO STARS" Duffy) were drinking buddies, and since I'm 6'2" and 200 lbs., my daddy "volunteers" me for everything for the COB.

We were headed for the Bahamas (Andros Island) for MK-48 certs and sonar tests. An FTB3 dink friend of mine and I had earned time off for "all our hard work" and were given 3 days on Andros Island (I guess they didn't need my big dumb-ass for the snubber line on the reload party). Well anyway, because of my close association with the COB he calls us into the goat locker (no disrespect intended) to inform us of the particulars of this "wonderful" liberty site (6 men to every women and of those, 4 of those women were MARRIED!!!!). He tells us of the cheap booze, warm sun and a NUDE BEACH!!! Kenny TWO STARS tells us that it's down the beach on the left from the base.

"It's the second cove that you come to.", he says.

Well, with no reason to doubt this senior enlisted leader we take the launch the next day for our much deserved R&R. The first day it rained so we can't use information our COB gave us, the next comes and we're up at the crack of dawn. Can't wait to see all the NUDE women (even if they did belong to someone else, the testosterone high level alarm was ready to sound off).

Well we had chow and walked around the base a little to see the sights then had chow again (we were only 20, what do you expect, our brain was split between two parts of our bodies, groin and stomach).

With part of our body taken care of, we headed off for a pleasurable time on the beach. When we get to the "cove" we take our swimming trunks OFF!!!

We take off walking down the beach and up ahead we spot two lawn chairs, unfolded with what we believed was NAKED women. Well they were women and they were nice looking and young, BUT they both had their bathing suits on. Not thinking this peculiar, we slowed down to get a better look and to return the favor (in case they were the rare non-attached kind). One of them hears us and slowly sits up, pulls down her sunglasses (I bet you thought I was gonna say her top), looks at us and says,

"What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"

I said that we were just walking on the beach.

"Why don't you have your swimming suits on?", she asks.

I said that since this was a nude beach we were gonna walk around butt naked. They both started laughing their asses off, when they were able to catch their collective breaths, the second says, between gasping breaths,

"There are NO NUDE beaches on this island!"

Well needless to say we both turned several shades of red, turned our backs and put our trunks on. We went back and got trashed, and tried to avoid seeing those two again. The next afternoon we got the launch and headed back to the boat, when we reach topside, there is the COB waiting for the liberty party to return. We eyeball him, he knows that we did it and starts laughing, he laughed at us for the next three days. Hell the WORD got put out REAL fast and everybody got a good yuk - yuk at our expense (even we laughed at how stupid and gullible we were).

My shipmate moved on, we lost touch, I talk to my sea dad every now again, but I haven't heard from Kenny TWO STARS in years.

Ken if you read this, thanks for the lesson.

Billy Bob Lary .